We modestly offer sex advice consisting of short alphabetical pieces. We aim to improve your sex life. Each article includes at least two positive and two negative suggestions, based on words that you never thought were sexy. Review these proposals and schemes before closing your door on the way out, and once again before opening your zipper on the way in.
Savor. Savor the moments you have together, even if you aren't locked in an embrace. To do otherwise would be unsavory. If it's been a long time, you may see each other as saviors. Save up your money to afford those special experiences; so you can savor Champagne on a Beer budget.
Scintillate. It's no sin to scintillate, even if you don't go to bed early. Scintillate means to sparkle or flash. Scintillate together, but don't be a flasher. Show him or her (or both) that you are excited to be together, even when together means fully clothed and not touching. Such behavior may end up very touching.
Tempt. As Oscar Wilde said, "I can resist anything except temptation." And who can resist Oscar Wilde? Go ahead, be tempted. Make yourself tempting. Play to your strengths. Hang around the right places. If you're in your forties, don't hang around with the twenties crowd. I'll leave it to you to figure out the tempting exceptions. But don't be tempted to pass for a twenty-something when you're a forty-something.
Teddy. It starts out at an early age. We all have our favorite teddy bear. Then we graduate to teddys (or is it teddies) on the way to bare. Salivate together with a lingerie catalogue. What's the male equivalent of a Teddy? Is it a Theodora? And why do they call it a Teddy? Why not a Bobby or a Nicky? You can bob and weave putting on or taking off a Teddy. Just don't get nicked. And afterwards hug your teddy bear.
And now for some things to avoid.
Scratch. Don't scratch that itch, it's not up to scratch. Frankly, your intended partner may wonder if you have something transmittable that makes you scratch. Guys and gals, keep your hands off your private parts in public. It's also a poor idea to scratch your public parts in private. If you stifle that urge to scratch you might meet someone who is itching to handle your innermost itches, and hands are only part of the solution.
Tear. These four letters spells two different words with two different pronunciations and they're both on the wrong side of the ledger. Of course you could cry tears of joy. And tearing a resistant hymen can be a cause for tears. Check with your gynecologist Mesdames, you don't have to put up with a great deal of pain. And if your guy tears into your without regarding your feelings, avoid the tears but tear up any written or unwritten deals you made.
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